Firestar Doesn't Like Waffles
by Waffle dah Cat
Summary: Firestar is D-E-A-D, and Brambleclaw is now the ThunderClan leader. Firestar visits Graystripe in his dreams, and Graystripe begs Firestar to tell StarClan about waffles. Firestar complies, although not very happily, and-we'll see what happens! :3 Well, I tried to make it humorous... Credit to BloodstainBlade for the Firestar Doesn't Like Waffles video.
1. Chapter 1

Brambleclaw sat, stunned. How could this be? His leader, Firestar, dead? _Dead_? In StarClan?

Cats were heading to Jayfeather, getting wounds treated. Jayfeather was anxiously cataloging herbs and giving each cat what they needed. He was crabby, as always. Sandstorm was absolutely ballistic, hugging her mate's cold body. Graystripe and Dustpelt tried to pry her away, but the she-cat refused to budge. Ultimately, they sat down near her and tried to calm her.

Brambleclaw shook his head, trying to empty it. He already knew he had chosen Squirrelflight as his deputy. He had forgiven her so quickly…He wondered if that was wise.

Brambleclaw decided that first of all, he needed to take Jayfeather aside and tell him that he was heading to the Moonpool.

He walked up to the den. "Jayfeather?"

Jayfeather's voice, perpetually irritable, sounded. "_Yes_?"

Brambleclaw pretended Jayfeather had said, "Come in," and pushed past the ferns. He quickly told Jayfeather about his plans and left.

The forest was quieting down, getting ready for the night. He sighed, breathing in the fresh air.

He treaded apprehensively along the path to the Moonpool, inscribed with paw prints. "How did these even get here?" he wondered. "Was some cat fool enough to slam their paws into the stone?"

**(But seriously, how are the pawprints there? 0.o)**

Brambleclaw suddenly came upon the starry pool, in which he, bit by bit, dipped his brown paw.

A rush of stars came upon him and he woke up in a clearing of StarClan.

**AN: I know it's short. Don't kill me! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

Bluestar, in her starry galore, tapped Firestar on the shoulder. "It's time to go up to StarClan."

"Already?" he whined. "But-but-"

"No buts," Bluestar admonished crabbily. "I've got things to do-StarClan isn't all hunting and prophecies!"

Firestar sighed and let Bluestar lead him up to StarClan. He was met with hellos, some winks, waving of tails, and then-

A realization came to him. "Spottedleaf?" he whispered. Growing bolder, he yelled, "SPOTTEDLEAF!"

"Shut _up_," Bluestar cuffed him over the ear, annoyed. "I swear, you act like a kit."

She stopped near an oak tree. "Welcome to the center of StarClan. Have fun."

Bluestar disappeared and Runningwind, who was standing nearby, looked at the trail of stars left in her wake with disgust. "Thinks_ she's_ better than everyone. Huh! I died _twice_ for my Clan, unintentionally! Like Heavystep!"

"Runningwind!" Firestar exclaimed. "How is StarClan?"

Runningwind groaned inwardly, but forced a purr. "Oh, it's fine."

Firestar purred back. "Have you seen Spottedleaf?"

"Nope." Runningwind shot off like a dart and Firestar didn't see him again for a while.

Firestar wandered around StarClan for a while, greeting cats and seeing former mentors and long-dead friends. Soon, however, he was bored, sitting on a rock, trailing his tail on the ground.

_Can't you invade dreams when you're a StarClan cat?_ he thought wickedly.

As he thought that, a pool of water appeared in front of him, and, _bam!_ There in the pool Graystripe was shown in his nest, asleep, mumbling something about Firestar. Firestar tapped the water with his paw and suddenly, he was in Graystripe's dream. _Sweet._

Graystripe was chasing a shrew when he saw Firestar. "Firestar?" he exclaimed. "Is it you, from StarClan? Unmistakable pelt of yours still there I see."

"Yes, it is!" shouted Firestar, running over to his best friend in the whole wide world.

They hunted together for a while, conversing about this and that, when suddenly the topic of waffles was brought up.

"Hey, remember that waffle I brought into camp?"

"Yeah." Firestar shrugged. "What about it?"

"Well," said Graystripe, his pupils large, "I have another one, and I was thinking that you could maybe tell StarClan what a waffle's all about?"

Firestar sighed. "Graystripe, you know I don't know what a waffle is!"

Graystripe mocked his sigh. "No, you just don't like them and you're afraid to admit it."

Mousefur popped up from behind a bush. "Firestar doesn't like waffles?" she asked, indignantly.

Suddenly Cloudfur popped up from behind another bush. "Firestar doesn't like cookies!"

Random cats began pouring in and saying random things from every side of Graystripe's dream. "Graystripe-"

"Yes?" he asked quite innocently.

"You have the weirdest dreams," Firestar meowed.

"I know-" Graystripe started to reply when suddenly he was interrupted by Cloudfur yelling "Puppies and ponies and myspace dot com!"

"Ahh!" Firestar yelled. "I'm surrounded by idiots!"

As Firestar was fading from Graystripe's dream, Graystripe shouted, "Tell StarClan about waffles!"

Firestar wished he hadn't heard. But he did.

And after all, he might as well do a favor for his friend…


	3. Chapter 3

**Yes, faithful readers, if you are yet there, I am finally updating. **

Firestar, on his re-entry into StarClan, spotted Runningwind again.

"Hey! Runningwind!"

This time, not bothering to stifle his groan-in fact, he made it quite loud-he walked up to Firestar.

"What, then?" Runningwind demanded.

"Can you tell StarClan to-wait." Firestar sized up the area. "Can you tell every cat you see to come to the clearing with the two tall pine trees immediately?"

Surprised that this wasn't some majestic Firestar-y demand, but a simple thing like that, Runningwind nodded and sped off.

_Probably organizing a party,_ he thought to himself.

"Oh, well," Firestar meowed, nudging the yellow-white contraption sitting next to him. "Time for what's what, then?"

The waffle, being what it is, didn't answer.

All of a sudden, StarClan cats poured into the clearing, filling up every cat-sized spot.

"Whoa," breathed Firestar. "I. Um."

Runningwind appeared next to him. "Well, what'd you think I'd do? Prance around and hand out golden invitations?"

Firestar glared at Runningwind, but said nothing.

Bluestar came in holding a sign and a carrot.

"Hey, Bluestar," yelled Firestar over the din of cats talking and purring, "What's the sign say?"

"Ah!" she craned her neck to read it. "I FOUND A CARROT!"

"Well," mewed Runningwind approvingly, "she's in a better mood."

Firestar steadied himself.

"StarClan!" he bellowed. "I have a thing or two to tell you!"

"Alliteration much?" snorted Runningwind.

Firestar ignored Runningwind and dragged the waffle up for all to see.

"This, my friends, is a waff-"

_Who dares to interrupt me mid-word?_ He thought to himself.

Cloudtail suddenly jumped onto the stage.

Wait, wait, wait.

_Cloudtail?_

Clan cats began pouring in from every angle, behind every tree, every rock.

"Woah, woah, woah!" roared Bluestar, waving her sign like a mace. "What are you doing here?!"

Cloudtail, who looked to be high on sugar, exclaimed, "Wefoundalotofmountaindewandt henjayfeatherfoundawayintost arclanforallofusandnowwecang oherewheneverwewantandwedon'thavetodiewouldyoubeileveit!"

Lionheart, who was sitting nearby, shook his head. "Mosskit, did you understand anything that he said?" he meowed, turning around to ask the little kit.

She was off sharing Mountain Dew with the kits of ThunderClan.

"Ah, well."

Suddenly Tallstar walked up.

"What is the meaning of this, Firestar?" he asked.

Firestar shrugged helplessly. "Let me try to make sense of it."

He surveyed the mass of StarClan and Clan cats, watching them rejoice and play and drink Mountain Dew.

"Where'd they get that much Mountain Dew?" wondered Crookedstar.

"Who knows?" meowed a ShadowClan cat. No one was sure whether it was StarClan or not.

"Okay," said Firestar. "I DEMAND YOU LISTEN TO ME!" he roared, with all his fiery might.

Every single cat turned around to look at him.

"I _like _being a Mary-Sue sometimes," he meowed to himself.

"Anyway," he continued, calmly, "this is a waffle."

Graystripe cheered.

"It is Twoleg food. Graystripe showed it to me."

Graystripe's eyes glittered. "Wow. He's actually displaying a waffle to the Clans," he whispered to Silverstream and Millie, who were glaring at each other and sitting on either side of him.

"But I don't know what they are," Firestar meowed, in thought.

Graystripe stood up. "No, no, no," he mewled desperately.

Finally, there was no hope.

"FIRESTAR DOESN'T LIKE WAFFLES!" yelled Graystripe at the top of his considerable lungs.

"Firestar doesn't like waffles?" exclaimed another cat.

"Firestar doesn't like cookies," cried Cloudtail, gulping Coca-Cola now.

Each cat began screaming and yelling and putting in their own two cents while Bluestar frantically waved her sign.

Then it all stopped.

The chaos and roaring and exclamations all ceased.

Because from the heavens, on a cloud, sat three she-cats.

Three _beautiful _she-cats.

You ask how this is possible.

"_Isn't StarClan heaven?"_

Well, isn't StarClan allowed to have a_ sky_, for Pete's sake?

"I am Silverstrike," one meowed. She seemed to have some sort of metal suit lying beside her.

"I am Dapplelight," another meowed. She was beautiful. In fact, they all were, but she was the most amazing one.

"And I," said the third with a sense of bravado, "am Sunswift."

All the toms started drooling.

All the she-cats slapped their mates.

Graystripe started drooling after Silverstrike and got double-slapped by Silverstream and Millie.

Suddenly, Silverstrike pulled up the strange metal thing near her and slipped inside it, covering her head with the helmet.

It was silver-and-grey, covering her entire body.

She began to float in the air.

Fiery things shot from her paws.

Something in her chest started to glow.

"Woah," breathed the apprentices. "I want one…"

Suddenly, Ferncloud gave out a yelp. "I'm kitting! I'm kitting!"

Dustpelt ran to her side. "Oh, honey. Oh! Oh!"

Every single medicine cat in StarClan ran to her aide.

Meanwhile, Silverstrike pushed up her faceplate by saying, "Faceplate, up!"

"Power levels are getting low, Silverstrike. You forgot to charge it last night," said a computerized voice. "Set to recharge?"

"Yes, please. Thanks, Istax." Silverstrike meowed. After a moment's thought, she said to the other two she-cats, "She's taken some of the shine off our presentation."

Dapplelight surveyed Ferncloud amidst the mass of frantic cats.

"Ah, I know her from a previous life. She's alright. Gives birth to a lot of kits."

Sunswift shrugged. "Ey, all the toms are drooling after us. I can't say she's done a lot."

Silverstrike nodded. "You make a point. What's next, then?"

"You're the one with the suit, mouse-brain," laughed Sunswift. "Get on with it!"

"Yeah, yeah, right," grumbled Silverstrike. "I can use this without cancelling the charging, right, Istax?"

"Yes," said the computerized voice again. "It only cancels if you fly or start shooting."

"Faceplate, down!"

"Hmm..." muttered Silverstrike. She scanned the To-Do list at one side of the screen when she felt someone knocking on her helmet. "Sunswift! Stop it!"

It didn't stop.

"Faceplate, up!"

There stood Firestar, Graystripe, and Blackstar.

"Ah. Hi," she said, a tad speechless.

Blackstar nodded. "I hear you're Silverstrike?"

She nodded. "That's Sunswift and Dapplelight." She pointed to the other two with her tail. "We introduced ourselves earlier."

"Mm-hmm," said Blackstar, watching every move of Silverstrike's.

_She's elegant_, he thought. _Probably dangerous, as well._

"May I ask why you are interrogating us?" she said.

"What?"

"Interrogating."

"I have no idea what that means."

Suddenly there were loud squeals, meows, and purrs from Ferncloud's direction.

"I have given birth," she announced, "to twenty kits!"

"Twenty kits?" groaned Dapplelight. "That's…"

Dustpelt started shouting the names of the kits.

"Applekit!

Twicekit!

Mousekit!

Pearkit!

Mangokit!

Eatingkit!

Nomkit!

Shrewkit!

Tailkit!

Datekit!

Samsungkit!

Mariokit!

Luigikit!

Peachkit!

Daisykit!

Bowserkit!

Browserkit!

Wordkit!

Powerpointkit!

Excelkit!"

Firestar was shocked. "What are they going to_ do_ with them!?"

Silverstrike shrugged. "Faceplate, down."

She zoomed off towards the kits.

_How do those two know so many Twoleg terms? _she thought to herself. _It's weird._

**And so we'll find out more in the next chapter, shall we? o3o**


End file.
